CAREGIVERS LIVES

As I sit down to write many thoughts come to my mind. I hope I can write the way you may understand. As I wrote earlier we went to the Relay For Life, it wasn't for Jack that I go, I go for myself too. I know that Jack will always be given a purple shirt, well you see caregivers are given shirts too.Our shirts do change colors this year it is yellow, last year it was lime green but purple will always be a survivors color, no matter what state you live in. In my mind a caregiver shirt is important to "you have survived" You look at the track to see how many they are, just as the purple shirts, it knows no age, female, male, or color. I noticed the pride these shirts are worren. As I was able to help hand out the shirts this year, one thing was in common. I was hugged many times and heard these beautiful words "thank- you for being a caregiver" with tears in their eyes. For the first time in a long time I knew I knew where I was meant to be. You see, everybody there understands how you feel. The fear you live with, the pain of wondering when again. You are never ever the same again once CANCER enters your life. It's not lack of FAITH, it's complete understanding of really what "Thy Will Be Done" means. No matter how hard you work CANCER has a mind of its own, it never sleeps. You always have it your mind is this the doctors visit, that will change your life again. I know that their are many diseases in this world, and my heart goes out to them who suffer.A caregiver can be many different people. You need to be willing to Fight Back. You do many things that may go unrewarded. The patient does not remember many things, chemo works on the brain, but you are not so lucky you do remember. You do not need to hold a degree, but by the time it's over you deserve the highest degree there is. It does not always work or end up the way you want, but you need to be able to say," I did all I could". It's hard to explain, but you are always waiting for it to come back, and wondering can I do it again. That's what makes you normal, if you can use the word normal. You will never be the same again. That I promise.